Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales.

Welcome. I'm here in a little ... oh, sweltering ! ... little studio, uh, in Swansea with Terry, the general __ __, the sept ... septuagenarian ... that didn't sound right, now ... ice-skating, uh, general __ __ in Swansea, looking after ... he's just delivered a coffee, which is why I mentioned him. Uh ... Mr. Chris Corcoran is here on the microphone. Say hello, Korkey. / Hello. / there we go. That's him. ... My word, it's windy down here. / It is windy. / I love Swansea, one of my favorite places, having / great time / it was windy this morning in my car. / ... That's pretty windy. / Inside the car, it was ... it was hard to do things inside the car that's windy. / Did you have your doors or windows open? / No. / How was it windy then? / Oh, yes, I did __ the boot's open. / All right, then / I was in the car, trying to do something / pretty much the same as being outside then, really / what's the point / it's not the same as / if / open, and you're in it, it's like being outside, innit? / window / like / bus shelter / All right. It's a bit like being in a bus shelter, but / All right / it was windy inside the car / your point is, it's really windy? / 要するに風が強すぎて、車の中でさえ風が入ってくるってこと？ / Uh ... look, I said / windy inside the car / people at home would have gone / that's a ... that's a ... / they would have gone, "What are you on about? Did you / shed / bus shelter / people at home would have gone, "That's an entertaining idea, that / windy inside the car / then you / all the science. ... You __ ruined it / I love the science / ruined it ... this is how windy __ __ this morning ... __'s what ... / there __ entertaining scene ... / Oh yeah? / ... on the coast ... on the Gower coast this morning, / Oh yeah? / __ __ __ __ Rhod Gilbert, television and radio's Rhod Gilbert ... / Oh yeah? / ... could be seen running down the road ... / ... after an umbrella? / No. After ... uh ... I ... OK. This ... here we go. / Yeah? / Quiz. Wind Quiz. / Buzzzz. Wind Quiz! / Wind Quiz. / Wind Quiz. / What ... and if you did see me when you passed me and you saw what I was running after, don't spoil it for anyone. ... / 風の中でそれを追いかけているオレを実際に目撃した人は回答しないでくれ。あくまでクイズだから。/ Although you may not have ... / 見てもわからなかったかも知れないが ... / what was I running after for about, I would say, 50 meters ... / Trilby? / ... chasing along the (Lower) Gower coast this morning?

Wow / "Hi Rhod, were you chasing a fiver you had dropped? / 風に飛ばされた 5 ポンド札を追いかけていたのですか？ / that's from Dave and William. Uh ... one guess between you / fiver you dropped / that's a good ... good question / good question, __ __ start easy, start / cash / No, I wasn't / Huh. / But you __ right. I would have / 50 yards down the road / that wouldn't be that embarrassing 'cause that's, sort of, justified. / how far / fiver / a good feature / wind kept blowing it. How far would you run / it depends on what I was going to do, depends on / how much of a hurry I was in. / OK, uh, you've got all __ time in the world / Right. / a fiver blows off / where you are / I am __ dreadfully sorry / people / terrible weather. The weather is appalling down here, but I, so far, apart from having to chase the thing down the street, I've been relatively unscathed, I have to say. Uh, I do not gloat. I feel sorry for everyone. Uh ... / 100 meters / 100 meters you'd chase the fiver? / 5 ポンド札なら 100 メートル追いかけるか / 100 meters. And / there's no chance of me getting / I'd give up, probably. / OK. ... A tenner? / 10 ポンドだったら？ / ... A hundred ... 120 meters. / 120 meters? / Yeah. / 20 quid? A 20 ... a crisp 20 blows off / 20 ポンドだったら？ / blows __ off from a cashpoint / out / off it goes / legs out / your legs / tapping out / trying to stamp on it, trying to stamp on it. Off it goes again ... / Am I likely to catch it, eventually? / 最終的につかまえることができると想定して？ / Well, I ... only you know the answer to that. / What? In my imagination? / Yeah. / OK. Uh ... 200 meters. / 20 quid for ... OK. ... A fifty? / 50 ポンドだったら？ / Man alive. / Man alive. ... I reckon you ... / 200 meters. / I reckon you'd chase it for a couple of weeks, wouldn't you? / ... Maybe. / "Hi Rhod, ..." says David Robbins, "I hope you were chasing the good bits of today's script, only to leave us with the rubbish bits left over." / That's a good one. / Yeah, that ... that is a good ... of course not. I have my script ... right in front of me / great stuff / Be ... be honest / ... great stuff coming up. It's all prepped and / you know, you are supposed to be honest on the BBC these days. / Hi Rhod, ... " says T__ in Bristol, "... Was it a shopping bag for life that you were chasing?" Good question, T__. / that is a good one / good question / embarrassing, though / it wasn't __ shopping bag for life / It's a good ... good one. / good question / really good / really catch the wind. / Yeah. / But why would you be ... / I used one last night in a little shop down the / little shop / I did use a ... a bag last night. / You wouldn't be that embarrassed about running after a bag for life, really / be a little bit embarrassing. A little bit. / don't forget, it's embarrassing, chasing anything down the street. So, chasing it ... especially when you __ __ __ __ grab it and it goes off again. ... / Yeah, true, true. / That's the embarrassing bit / つかまえた、と思ったらまた風にもっていかれる。あれが恥ずかしいんだ。 / "Dear Rhod and Korkey / wind-chasing / surely it can't be your hat." / that's anonymous / ... No, it's not my, uh ... it's not my hat. One of my hats did go on the Central Line in Queensway, got, uh, blown off / under the tube / I almost / didn't, thankfully. ... "Hi, Rhod, were you chasing your kite __ __ the string broke?" / from Fred in Cardiff / I love the idea that you were flying a kite / Yeah, half past nine, just before the show / really nice / I've got a little / kite / I'll tell you now. When / No, it wasn't a kite, it wasn't a fiver, it wasn't a bag for life. What was I chasing, half past nine, embarrasingly, down the street?

Look at this. Look at this. You never heard these squirrel __s, did you? Did I tell you the whole squirrel thing? / Oh yeah. / Did I tell you? / Yeah. / oh, you were there / you were there in London / kitchen one, yeah, in London. / In our kitchen with Mr. Greg Davies, when I talked about the trauma ... the trauma of finding a dead squirrel / It shook you up, didn't it? / It shook me up. It proper shook me up ... / Yeah. / ... finding a dead squirrel in the garden, / Yeah, / And you ... you, uh, laughed at me for not knowing what to do with it. / Yeah. / You laughed at me for going online and seek answers to see what to do with ... / Yeah. / you discovered that you should bury it / Well, bury it or double-bag it. / Yeah. / I tripple-bagged it, I think. ... Anyway, Nick Taylor in Crick ... Cricklade says, uh, "What is the weirdest encounter you've had with native British wildlife, apart from C.S. I. squirrel? I was once woken from my slumber / vigorous tugging __ __ bottom of my sleeping bag while sleeping bag / while sleeping / quarry on Portland Bill. / I __ been rock-climbing with friends / for the night / too tight to / bed-and-breakfast / B&B に泊まる予算がなかったので / I was / early morning / dream / or / real / dream / tugging / returned, only more forceful ... the brain ... " I presume she means __ her brain, "... the brain started to twig something was amiss. And I looked down to find a fox trying ... / trying to eat the bottom of my sleeping bag. At this point, survival instincts kicked in, and I picked up a rock." ... hang on a minute. Let me read the ... let me read the end of this / __ __ scan ahead / let me see the end ... / we're OK. / OK. / a rock, which is in plentiful supply in the aforementioned quarry" of course. / Huh huh. / "... The said rock was lobbed in the general direction of the fox, and missed it by miles / that's a relief / that's all right / "... Even though it was only a few feet away. The fox ran off, not before giving a disapproving stare ..." huh, "... and picking up a dead rat." ... Huh. "... Have you or your listeners had similar weird encounters / to share / whatever that is. I don't question whatever that is. / I'm not quite sure what that is. / any weird encounters with any wildlife / I've had a squirrel one, funnily enough. / You've ... uh, ... wha ... hey, I hope you're not stealing my squirrel story. / Uh, well, / I've got / No, no. Genuinely. / What happened? Have you told / me / before? / Uh ... I'm not sure if I have, actually. / Huh. Tell me now. / It shook me up. / Did it? / Yeah. / So, we've both ... the both of us've had the most extreme ... most upsetting ... / Yeah. / ex ... you know, / squirrel-based / encounter __ British wildlife __ __ squirrel-based / Yeah / ... Go on. / I was walking through the park ... / you should, uh ... / ... __ __ garden / Sit down. / Nuh. I'll be all right. I'll be ... I'm over it. / Are you? / Yeah. / you / with it / I / with / OK / you know that / when you started telling me the story, you were twitching a bit. ... Are you ready to talk about it? Or / music / see if you can go / up / I'm happy / place __ music / __ up / 'cause / climax / Do you want to get into a story-telling tracksuit? I know you liked it. / No, I'm good. / Are you sure? / Yeah. / I know you liked / tracksuit / I'm trying to go. / OK. / so, / __ __'s park / OK, ladies and gentlemen. / ... and, uh, I see a squirrel ... / Is it OK? Is it fit for broadcast? / Absolutely, yeah. / Should children avert their ears? / No. But ... / Huh. / ... but, it is a bit of the reality of nature rather than ... / Oh, OK. / Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle ... Beatrix Potter stuff. / OK. So, it's not __-__, ladies and gentlemen, but it ... it is a story that ... / Yeah. / ... that ... maybe exposes the brutality of nature sometimes, / a ... a little, yeah / ... harsh reality of a ... of a ... OK. Well, let's take some of the ... let's take the edge off it for the kids. / OK. / garden / looked up ahead to see a squirrel, uh, busily burying, I assume, an acorn. / Buzzzz. Nuts. / Uh ... nuts. Could be nuts. / Yes! One point for me. / ... or a acorn, yeah? / or ... I'll accept __ __ __ / OK. ... Now, it's only me, for ... / （１. 僕しかいない／２. 他ならぬ僕だよ） / Yeah. But he wouldn't know that. He's not gonna look around and go "Oh, god. Sorry, I didn't know you're Korkey. / なーんだ、コーキー、君だったのか。 / oh, no / only me around / I / the only human / reassured / thought it was you / No / "Who's that? Oh, it's only him / nobody / me / Did he? / So, he looked up mid-bury of his acorn, right? / burying / /nut, in a secret place, as in that they __ buried __ to hide __ that's the whole point, yeah? / well, it is a secret / Well, it is a secret. They are hoping __ __ no other animal sees it, aren't they? ... 'cause otherwise / for the ... for the spring or something / winter / is that why they're looking around all the time? / Yeah, of course, / bury / secret food. / Huh ... / so, they're __tive. / yeah, OK. I've never thought / before, I thought / buried it / it was just keeping it for ... you know, __ __ put __ in the fridge / you know / for later / No. I think they hide it. / Huh, I see. / It's not ad hoc. / I thought / more like / food / actual hiding unit. / Well, I assume that they're burying it for secret purposes ... for food for the winter. / OK. / Yeah. ... He clocks me. / Yeah. / Right? / Yeah. / you lock-on / he stops burying and he ... / he fixes my gaze. / Of course he does. He thinks "Hang on a minute. He's seen me. / yeah / __ed, he thinks / He thinks, "Someone's coming over here to steal my acorn/nut." / Yeah. / All right? So, I stopped __ __ my tracks. I stopped walking / Did you ... did you pretend you haven't seen him, kinda __ __ __ whistle? / 見なかったフリをしたか？ 口笛でも吹いて？ / no / that would have been useful. / Well, it was too late for that ... / Too late? / 'cause I had already caught his eyes / I couldn't pretend. Otherwise, obviously, I would have done that / just / そうできたらよかったけど手遅れだった。もう目が合ってしまったから。 / I haven't seen anything / obviously / vision / but / I'd already clocked his eyes / OK? / So, uh ... so, he finishes his burying / I hope __ be __ good / by the way. I'm enjoying it / make something up. / so, he finishes burying ... / Yeah, / ... his acorn/nut / I like ... You can't ... it's a pity we're not on TV but radio / see the hand movement Korkey's doing to, uh, to demonstrate how the squirrel was finishing burying his acorn/nut. / Yeah yeah. / It was ... / It's a universal squirrel burying technique / universal little thing / two little paws / yeah yeah, yeah. You look like, a, sort of, / you are doing a sort of ... you look like ... / Yeah? / ... you look like a Tyrannosaurus rex playing a child's set of bongos. / Yes. / Yeah. / It's very much like that. / Yeah, good, innit? Yeah, that's what you're like ... / ... Anyhow, so, he finishes burying that nut__, right? / Yeah, yeah. / put __ a few leaves over / squirrel / yeah / squirrel / nut/acorn / yeah / he shoots up a tree, / Yeah, / as is his __ __ / Absolutely. / like they do / yeah / and he sits on a branch, right? And I, ... and I, sort of, __ to carry on walking. But he __s really agressively catches my gaze ... catches my gaze again. And ... / Did he do that thing, / アレをやったか / you know, when you go __ uh ... when you / did he do that thing / point his eyes ... point his eyes and point your eyes / if he had little fingers to be able to do it, he ... he would have ... he would have done that, yeah. But he didn't / He did __ __? / No. He faced me off. ... and, he ... in his eyes, he said, "If you go anywhere near my nut, I'm coming down and I must sort you out." / Really? / Yeah. And ... and his tail was up, and he was, like, / back __ __ __ __ just glaring (at me) / no other / why didn't he then ... / Yeah? / ... stay by his nut/acorn and just ... do you know what I mean? ... puff his chest up and look where you __ going __ watch you go past rather than going up / Huh, good point. / daring you to go and get it. / Mate, I can't answer on behalf of the squirrel. / No. But / like / in front of / "You are not coming here." / but / if __ go away and then watch / he was inviting you ... / yeah / ... to have a __ / Well, that's what I felt. ... So, anyway, I'm ... I'm stood __ __ "OK. Now the most sensible thing here is to walk past. I don't want any trouble. / Yeah. And don't run, 'cause / Don't run. That would panic him. / __ __ __ / yeah / Keep calm. / but, but a little bit of me / did you roll into a ball / no, __ hedgehog / That's a bear, innit? / No. It's hedgeohg. / Uh, no. I know hedgehogs / into a ball / do I / __ into a ball. When you get shark, you stick a broom in its mouth. / Yeah. / All that stuff. / Well, this is my __ __ / I didn't know how to react / I think / roll into a ball / Well, I didn't know that. / I / done the wrong thing. / Yeah? / What did you do? / Well, I went to walk off, and I thought, "Hang on a minute. I'm not being faced down by a squirrel." / So, you went back? / So, I glared at him / Did you go back? Did you actually go back? / did I go back to the nut? / No, did you ... / No, I hadn't moved. I hadn't moved. / Oh, I see. / __ __ he froze me to the spot. And I thought, "I'm not having that. I'm not a fighter, I'm a __ __, but I'm not being faced down by a squirrel." And a little bit of me wanted to go over there and dig up his nut. / You should definitely have dug his nut__ up. / I should, but I didn't. I walked off. / わざとそこから離れて、お前を挑発したんだな。取れるもんなら取ってみろと。 / でも冷静に考えて、黙って立ち去ることがベストだと思ったんだ。揉め事はイヤだし。 / そういうときは相手を刺激しないよう、ゆっくり移動することだ。走ってはいけない。体を丸くするといい。/ なんで？/ すまん。体を丸くするのは熊の場合だ。/ 丸くなるのはヤマアラシでしょ？/ そうじゃなくて、熊に出くわしたら丸くなれってこと。あと、サメに出くわしたら口にホウキを突っ込め。 / ... で、その時思ったんだ。リスにガン飛ばされて逃げていいのかと。/ 戻ったのか？/ 戻るもなにも、その場から一歩も動いてないから ... 冗談じゃない。そりゃ、ボクは喧嘩は弱い。それにしても、リスに ... だから ... してやろうかと思った / そいつはぜひすべきだったな。/ でもせずに立ち去った。我ながらヘタレだ。

"Afternoon, Rhod. I threw an acorn / squirrel / huh huh / as it dropped ... / huh, look at this. / acorn / a squirrel dropped an acorn on his head from a tree / on the man's head / the person's head / yeah / or boy's head. He could be __ young boy. ... "I threw ..." Uh, he threw the acorn back at the squirrel / rushed out / it's exactly the same response I had / same sort of response / very similar response / same sort of response. He threw __ acorn back at the squirrel / yeah / the the squirrel ran down the tree, jumped on me ... / No ! / ... yeah, "... and bit my finger." ... Attacked. / Oh. Wow. ... I had a lucky escape. / I've ... you know, you do hear ... you do hear stories of people being attacked by wildlife that ... I mean, you know, yeah, __ some wildlife ... you know, like crocodile, you expect ... one of them's loose __ Bristol, by the way / talking of, uh ... be careful, everyone. ... I don't want to panic anyone / apparently / in the papers / crocodile on the loose in ... in, uh ... Bristol __ __ all sorts of things __ going on ... apparently ... / expect / go on / you know. ... But then, there's ... there's also / sort of, smaller, fluffier wildlife / can be very ... you've gotta watch out / kids, look out / you've gotta be circumspect. We don't want ... I don't want to induce panic, ... / Sure, / ... in the parks around the country / things / in the countryside / but just be / circumspect / induce panic / around ... / ... Wildlife / the name is in ... it's in there. It's in the name, "wild". / 何しろ「野生」というくらいだから / anyway, you do hear / occasionally / but you don't often hear about / that attack to have a sort of ... a build-up ... antagonizing / like / a squirrel lobs an acorn / he lobs it back / and then the squirrel comes / different stages / it doesn't normally ramp up. / No. __ __ attack from wildlife is like that. It doesn't normally escalate, does it? It doesn't ramp up. That's why that story is interesting, I think. It's normally just, "I've got attacked by a squirrel and it bit me. Yeah. Fine. / Yeah. / but / ever / up / start small, but / and then / build up into a fight / that's a human thing. That's a very human thing, the fronting up, the / pushing and sh__ing / yeah / very human thing / you don't often see it from a squirrel / I wonder / other little squirrels pulling him back and going, "Hey, come on, come on, / leave it / we've all ... we've all had a few acorns. It's not worth it. / It's not worth it. Leave it. / Leave it. He's massive. / __ true __ __ __ bit / on the finger / clearly / what / next / what / next / here's another one / look at this / RE: Squirrel. what ... / from __ in __, "Once I __ __ a lovely episode ... / Yeah? / ... feeding the birds, / Yeah? / in Belle Vue Park in Newport, where a squirrel came up, grabbed the food from me. / Right, / it's not the worst of it / 驚くのはまだ早い / and then __ started __ chasing up the hill / See? / or / I don't know / they are liability, these little, uh ... these little beautiful rodents / __ coming in. ... __ coming in __ especially if you've got a story that ramped up, where the situation with / squirrel / go out of control / ... escalated out of control. Yeah. That's what we are looking for.

Rhod Gilbet on BBC Radio Wales.

What was I chasing in the wind ... / Wind Quiz ! / Wind Quiz. It got away this morning, something got away from me this morning, and I was running after it, and __ __ __ __ ... / See? People don't realize ... you know, there__ a lot of benefits to being, sort of, you know, D-list celebrity like me / Huh huh, / Right? / as you'll know, Korkey ... as you well know. There are some advantages in being a Z-lister like us. Um ... one of the less advantageous things of it ... / Yeah? / ... is that, if you're doing something embarrasing ... / Yeah, / ... it's more embarrassing when you are a Z-list celebrity doing that embarrassing thing / おや、あそこで無様をさらしているのは ... / because people / go / Hey, is that so and so ... ? / doing that embarrassing thing / look / over / Rhod Gilbert / ten times funny, ten times embarrasing. / Yeah. / Right? Uh ... I was chasing something this morning. It was, uh ... it would have been acutely embarrassing for, uh, somebody who wasn't ... / Right. / ... even on the alphabet of ... of celebrity / Even for a normal person? / even for a normal person / normal human / would have been embarrassing / wow / somebody like me, a Z-list celebrity, / it was even more enbarrassing / well, "Were you chasing after a pig?" / Huh, that's a good image. / ... says Victoria. ... Well, Victoria thinks it was a pig being blown along the Gower road / I was chasing after him, trying to put my foot on top of it / wind-based one, would it? / 豚だと、風に飛ばされたから追いかけるんじゃなくて、単に走って逃げようとするのを追いかけるんでしょ。お題の主旨に反する。/ it's unlikely ... / 豚飼ってたっけ？/ 飼ってないし / anything-based / A: / pig / B: It wouldn't / I don't think / maybe they are strong enough to blow a pig / they are pretty stocky / they are pretty stocky / pig / They are pretty stocky. / あれだけずんぐりしていると風に飛ばされはしないんじゃないか / Excuse me ... but C: If it / why would I be chasing / Why would I be chasing a pig? / exaxtly / ask yourself / taking it to a market / receipt / something you bought from a shop?" says, uh, says __ / No, it wasn't, __, receipt from something I bought from a shop. / __ __ / what was it that I was chasing down the street in the Gower ... a road, I should call it. Uh ... rather embarrassing / chasing / something / Was it your new puppy?" / No, it wasn't, although the wind __ so bad down the / coast / my new puppy did almost ... elevate ... levitate ... whatever the word is ... almost took off. Almost took off. Uh ... / 犬が離陸しそうになった / "Was it your dusbin or dustbin lid?" says / I love the ... I love the genuine guesses. I love the genuine guesses. Uh, __ from Dave W__ near __ __ it wasn't my dustbin or a dustbin lid. Uh ... "Were you chasing ..." This is very sexist / in Funabashi in Japan. Uh ... "Were you chasing something for the m__ ... a copy of heat or maybe a product designed for ladies?" / 奥さんに頼まれて買った生理用品とか？ / No, D__, you sexist, I wasn't chasing something for the M__. Uh ... what was I chasing at half past nine __? / I'm gonna tell you now. Two people have got it ... almost right. Almost right. Jane, you've got it almost right. And Steve T__, you've got it even more almost right. Nobody's bang__ on yet.

"Hi Rhod, I watched __ squirrel in my garden / having a go at my shirt on the washing line / リスがシャツに何をしたというのだろう？ / when you / go / iron it? / Come on / かかってこいよ / come on / it made the most fearsome noise when I tried to chase it away. Eventually it moved into a tree / Yeah? / What? You mean, like, permanently? Re-homed?/ I thought the little rascal must have been looking for nest-building material. / Yeah? / Do they have nets? Squirrels? / Yeah. / Do they? / ... Yeah. / Do they? / ... I don't know. / I knew, if I kept asking that, / I knew if I kept on / your confidence __ shake. ... Does a squirrel hae a nest? Yes. Does a squirrel have a nest? ... Yes. ... / Does it have ... I don't know / I'm not sure / know / __ __ __ __ __ ... "I watched the squirrel in my garden / having a go at my shirt / made __ most fearsome noise / I / chase it away / eventually / must be looking for / building material / in D__ / So, I / wound some strips of cloth around the washing line / after / untied and taken by the squirrel. / ... So, that's an example of two species working together, actually. / That is two speices in a perfectly tuned symbiotic relationship. / Yes. Harmony. / Man and squirrel in washing-line nest-building harmony. / ... harmony. / It is. ... Hi Rhod and Korkey, I've had a weird experience of wildlife," / Here we go / says C__ ... huh, we've had this guy before / sir name. And I still can't. / some phonetic help. And his name is M, O, R, D, E, C, A, I. / Mordecai? / He says __ past play-lister / he chose play list for the second half / I think he / Mordecai / "I've had a weird experience / wildlife / C__ Mordicai / have / weird experience / C__ Mordicai / "A couple of years ago I was driving, I looked to my right / huh huh / I was surprised to find a pigeon flying at my head height ... / Oh yeah? / ... at the same speed as I was driving, no more than two feet from my window. ..." / Please tell me he was glaring at him. / He / a / the moment / fly-by. ... Or was it a race? Did you get into a race __ __ __ psychologically / I'm having this / foot / lights / Did he stop at the lights? That'd be interesting. / ... and hover ... hovering / then watch it / f__ it / like in G__, between / __ absolutely, like __ __ / pigeon / Did you tried running __ off ... off the ... / well, he / running off the road, I suppose / __ __ __ / he just / pavement / be fine. / They don't care. ... "That was strange enough..." says C__ ... C__ Mordicai. ... "... But then the bird ...", this is / get__ ugly / Yeah, / the bird turned his head ..." / Huh. See? / "... and looked at me as if to say 'What are you doing? '/ 誰に断って走ってんだ？ / What are you doing here? / "... This seemed to go on for ages, but in reality ... in reality, it was probably no more than a few seconds. My late mom used to laugh herself to tears / this story. Great show, guys." / that story / enjoyed / that is dedicated to your late mom, that is. That's all we're gonna do with that / and, in fairness / unnerving. So / we empathize / story as well / it is / animal looks at you like that / faced him down / the same way the squirrel faced me down. / quite often ... quite often I / put my psychiatrist hat on / everyone / on a couch / quite often / more about our own insecurities than what the animal was actually thinking / gonna reveal that / and I'm gonna put that out there.

Hello Rhod / chasing / hand-brake off / travelling fast, but even / 50 meters before catching / the car also / over a squirrel / for freedom / Kevin / No, Kevin, it was not my / tidied it all up, though / it tidied all up nice / __ __ __ quiz, ladies and gentlemen. Half past nine this morning, __ the howling, gale force, I would say ... I don't know if that's technically accurate, but there were very very big winds around the Gower, and something I was ... something I wanted, blew away, ... and I chased it for about 50 yards down the street, trying to get it. / Hmm. / A couple of people've got it right. Do you wanna know what it was? / Shoot. / They're almost right. ... "Was it an empty poo bag? ... dog ... /... I was chasing one / park / earlier" says Jane. ... You're very very very close, Jane, you're very very very close. Uh ... "Were you chasing a partially filled, uh, pooper-scooper bag?" says Steve T__. Uh ... you are very very close __ __ somebody else says, "Were you chasing one of Rosy's bags?" ... I was ... I went out for the walk with Rosy, our puppy, this morning, half past nine, and ... never been so embarrassed. She went to to toilet. I __ __ down to pick it up with a ... a bag on my hand ... you put you hand in the bag and you reach down and pick it up / yeah / Hey, it's not that pleasant, but / your own / when you're on your own / you don't really mind. / Yeah. / I went down to pick it up / and / wind took it off / ran after it / again / the bag? / The bag ... no, no, the bag was on my hand. It took the actual ... / ... No. / Yeah. / What ... what was it made out of? / Uh ... / Uh, this is a lot of detail, but it is a bizarre thing / Well, how did it blow ... I don't quite understand / blows away / have you seen / wind / little puppy / she did / on the side of the road / have been eating a lot of carrot / it wasn't as heavy as usual / Fair enough, fair enough, fair enough. / wind took it and I ran after it. __ __ always a decision __ when you are chasing something like that / how far do I chase this? / Yeah. / There were several points which I thought / so embarrassing / just leave it / it'll ... it'll ... / biodegradable, it will disappear in this way. ... I didn't. I chased it for 50 yards / well / stamp on it / you would have regretted that. / I caught it. __ __ 50 yards / caught / I ... I got it. I got it. I bagged it. / Well done. / and I took it __ __ disposed of it / So, well done / Mark / who / well, you've got it right / partially-filled bag / it wasn't at all filled, but you are on the right ball park / so / that / I never thought / would take off / quite successfully as it did / __ massive feature__ / to be honest / in the first place / as it did. ... But that's the wind for you. / Hey. / 犬のフンって結構重いでしょ？ 風で飛ばされるかな？ / 最近は人参をたくさん食べているので軽くなったと思われる。/ はて、どこまで追いかけたものか ... 人に見られたら恥ずかしいし ... ほっとこうかな ... どうせ自然に還るものだし ... と何度も思った。でも諦めずに、... / 風で飛ばされたものをつかまえようとするとき、足でガッと踏んで押さえつけようとするだろ。 それでオレは、 ... / はい、風クイズでした。

If you enjoyed that, why don't you listen to the whole show? Rhod Gilbert live on Saturday mornings, BBC Radio Wales, 11 till 1.

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